Theme Thursday – Three

Moderately late which has ticked off Kimmy. Sorry Kimmy!

I know why Mrs PTB put Three as this week’s theme. Well I’m not going to talk about my soon to be three year old. I’m denying the fact that she is turning three. She seems like she is turning 10 but I secretly wish she was turning 6 months again (minus the lack of sleep, I want 6 months, sleeping all night, potty trained and able to walk. Is that too much to ask?) Today I’m going to tell you about the 3 top things that I miss being able to do since I became a Mom 3 years ago. PLEASE, please do not get this confused with being ungrateful mother or not loving my kids or wishing that I wasn’t a mom. Not true. These are 3 things that I just didn’t fully appreciate before kids.

3. Smelling like a normal clean person

Phone call to husband. Wife blubbering mess and between hiccups says “I just don’t want to smell like urine, feces, puke, sour milk or BO anymore!”. I’m pretty sure that I have had this phone conversation once a month with my husband. On any given day one of my kids will pee, poop or puke on me. It is getting better but not quick enough. I need to buy stocks in body spray. Things are turning around as my oldest begs to let me play with her sister in her sister’s crib while I shower in the morning. I will not turn that down! Hopefully in the next 2 years this will turn around and I won’t have to apologize to the random person standing in line beside me for my smell.

2. Sleep without fear.

Every night after the girls are soundly in their beds sleeping like angels I go off to sleep with a sense of dread. I’ve never required a lot of sleep so being up at night isn’t a huge deal (don’t tell my husband I said that).  What scares me is being in a beautiful, nice, deep sleep and I wake to screams! Or even worse a toddler standing in your doorway silently watching. It’s like a scene out of some horror movie. I like to wake slowly, calmly and on my own terms. I do not want to be wake to the sounds of a child screaming for their life (or a bottle of milk, or that there are monsters in their room). This would be so much nicer to deal with if they just told me their wake schedule as they went to bed. ‘Hey Mom, I will be up at 11:48pm screaming that there is a monster under my bed. Then I will appear inches from your face at 4:30am to tell you I just went pee in the potty.’ I think I could cope with that a little easier. I distinctly remember when this sleep fear started. My oldest was about 3 months old and was getting up every 3 hours still. I figured that the first month or two would be like this but I sensed that I was in for a lifetime of only sleeping for 2.5 hours at a time. Someday when they are teenagers I will get them back for this. Mmmwahahahhaha!

And the number one thing I miss is…

1. A quick trip to the store          

A quick trip to the store is like an endangered species. I don’t understand why there aren’t commercials on tv about this raising funds and awareness. I have fond memories of watching a commercial on tv and thinking “I must eat that right now! RIGHT NOW!” I would run out and get what I wanted and then return home and still catch the end of the show I was watching. Now I contemplate even going to the store. Today is an excellent example.

There are at least 5 things I want from the store that are only on sale today and tomorrow. I debated going to get said items and then thought about the savings I would make. Do the savings outweigh the cost of the effort to get two kids to the store and back? Having to get them dressed (and myself), winter gear on, into various car seats (which requires 3 trips around the car), drive to the store with yells of which store they really want to go to ‘Mom I wanted to go to that breakfast store!’ or ‘I want two timbits! No I want strawberry!!! STRAWBERRY!!! No I don’t want chocolate!!!! I wanted Strawberry `cause, `cause, `cause I wanted Strawberry!!’ (Tim Hortons ran out of strawberry timbits yesterday. The HORROR!!!), then get to the store get two kids out and safely into the store, hear cries of dismay when I pass all the favourite traditional snacks, a short pause in front of the  aquarium (don’t tell the kids those are eating fish), grab the items I need plus extra chocolate because I deserve a reward for this trip, check out while ignoring the cries for kinder eggs and removing packs of gum from the youngest’s grasp and then repeat the trip home which is almost exactly like the trip to the store only with the added relief that the end is near and the house has booze. That would only take 4 hours! So today we are staying home. I will pay full price next week and save my sanity.

Some day when I’m retired I’m going to look back at this post and think ‘Man, I wish my kids were here bugging me.’



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